Gank Frank - Chapter 5

[Fenrix]

GANK FRANK
Written by Fenrix
Screenshots taken by Fenrix
Loosely based on Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill






Chapter 1: 11 (elite)
Chapter 2: Blood-Covered Gnome
Chapter 3: Showdown at the Pig and Whistle Tavern
Chapter 4: The Lonely Grave of Eliza Schultz
Chapter 5: The Tough Teachings of Noodlepuss
Chapter 6: Otto and I
Chapter 7: Final Showdown





I wipe the sweat from my brow and continue my trek. The stone ruins that surround me are intimidating and ominous, but I continue onwards. I adjust the shoulder strap on my knapsack and trudge onwards with the notion that a new beginning awaits me at the summit.

I reach the top and find a very old Gnome perched upon a well. He is in meditation, and I approach silently in an attempt not to disturb him.





He appears to be very old, yet very wise beyond his years. Several seconds pass, an awkward silence sets in. I speak in an attempt to ease the tension, and his head snaps right towards me with an angry glare.





[Gnomish] “Master Noodle…”

[Gnomish] “Your Gnomish is lousy! It causes my ears much discomfort! Is it too much to ask for you to speak in Gnomish?”

[Gnomish] “I’m…”

[Gnomish] “You will not speak unless spoken to!!!”

[Gnomish] “I…I can speak in Common very well…”

[Gnomish] “I did not ask if you could speak in Common! I asked if you could speak in Gnomish!”






[Gnomish] “Now…your master tells me you’re not entirely unschooled…”

[Gnomish] “Yes, I have a 280 Sword skill, a 250 Fist Weapon skill, and I am more than proficient in the elegant art of the Gank with Daggers.”

[Gnomish] “Elegant art?! HAH! Don’t make me laugh! It appears you are quite the novice after all!”

[Gnomish] “But Master, I –“

[Gnomish] “SILENCE!!! I despise Rogues, have nothing but utter contempt for green hair, and absolutely loathe your pathetic excuse for skill!!!”

I try my hardest to contain my emotions, but they get the best of me; I clench my teeth in anger.





[Gnomish] “Ha ha ha…your anger amuses me. Do you wish to strike me down?”

[Gnomish] “No.”

[Gnomish] “You think I am old, and I am weak, do you not?!”

[Gnomish] “No.”

[Gnomish] “And you are aware that I boggle, dance, and kill freely— at my own will?!”

[Gnomish] “Yes.”

[Gnomish] “IS IT YOUR WISH TO DIE?!?!”

[Gnomish] “No.”

[Gnomish] “Then you must be a noob…such a noob! Bwahahaha!”





[Gnomish] “Rise, and let me look at your ridiculous face!”





[Gnomish] “Go over there and remove one of the swords. We shall see what skills you have…if you can land a single blow, I will /bow before you and call you master.”







I do as he instructs, and make ready. He appears to be physically fit despite his age, yet I am still skeptical of his battle abilities against a sword. He glares at me with his piercing, judging eyes. I grip my sword tightly try to prepare myself for the inevitable and the uncertain.





[Gnomish] “BEGIN!” The old Gnome shouted through the air. I charge recklessly at him.







I swing wildly, but my precision is lackluster. He’s fast...too fast.





He quickly gets behind me and knocks me to the ground. For a brief moment, he seems hover effortlessly through the air...







…Almost as if he warps the very world around him as he sees fit.






[Gnomish] “From up here…you can get a magnificent view of my big, fat, hairy Gnomish FEET!” Spat the old Gnome as he kicked me in the face.





I’m sent soaring backwards, and my sword is flung beyond arm’s reach. Suddenly, I’m down to my mitts. Normally this wouldn’t be such a bad position to be in, but against a Gnome-Fu Master…well, it’s not so great.

[Gnomish] “Let’s see your Drunken Monkey style try to match my Rabid Mongoose style!!!” he shouted.






Within just a few seconds of flinging everything I’ve got at him, he’s got me on the ground. I’ve underestimated his speed and precision…As a last-ditch-effort; I see a quick way out of the situation. A cowardly gamble, but at this point I’m willing to try anything. I reach for it…





…But he quickly sees through my shameful ploy.





He puts me in some sort of Gnome-Fu death lock. The slightest bit of movement sends a tidal wave of pain coursing through my body. I must succumb to his will, and accept defeat.





[Gnomish] “The pain is excruciating, is it not?!?”

[Gnomish] “YES!”

[Gnomish] “You have never before felt a pain such as this, have you?”

[Gnomish] “NO!!!!1”

[Gnomish] “If you fight like a noob then I shall treat you as one!”

[Gnomish] “YEESSSSS!!!!1!one!!1”

[Gnomish] “This is my arm now. It does not belong to you anymore. I will do with it as I please. I could chop it off right now if I so wished!”

[Gnomish] “NO PLZ!!!11 DO NOT WANT!!!1”

He released my arm from his excruciatingly painful grasp. I fall limp.

[Gnomish] “Your training begins tomorrow. Put your stuff away and get some rest.”



Early the next day…



“Since your arm is technically my arm, now…I want it fit for battle.”





“What if your enemy was three inches from your face? Do you spam your tab target and button mash? Or do you focus, concentrate, then thrust your hand through him!?! Hurr-yah!!!”





“Now begin!”

The wood is thick and sturdy, impermeable to my many blows. I thrust with all my might, but it only exasperates the pain. My knuckles wear and begin to bleed.





“It is the wood that should fear you! Not the other way around! Hmmph! You are prone to defeat before you even begin!!” He spat out as he walked away. Suddenly, I am inspired to prove him wrong.

I train for days without rest. The days turn to weeks, and the weeks turn to months.





For hours upon hours, I carry what seems to be hundreds of buckets of water. What seems to be nothing more than a simple task for many has evolved into a painful trial. Still, I push onwards.





After a while, the pain begins to subside. It becomes neither a chore, nor part of the training itself – but an obsession.





I begin to find peace in my misery. And through it, I begin to find a deeper understanding of not only my surroundings but my body and mind as well. The simple act of standing and hitting a block of wood has become a sort of meditation for me.





Slowly, I am shaped…





…Sculpted…





…And molded into a formidable fighting machine. I earn his respect, but not without enduring constant pain and hardship. I can still hear his voice in my head to this day, sometimes when I am close to sleep or silent in meditation...

“You pathetic excuse for a Gnome…”

“…Come on, get up!”

“Come ON!!!”





My eyes shoot open. Suddenly, a fiery confidence rushes through me, strengthening my body and invigorating my senses. I shred through my binds and stare at the coffin lid. My enemy stares back three inches away.



“Okay, Noodlepuss…here I come.”



I find a hollow cavity in the dirt above me – where my blows shall be placed. I take a deep breath then clench my fists tightly in anticipation of the first strike.





My knuckles scrape against the wood, blood and bone abound. I hear a light crack but I don’t know if it’s my hand or the wood. I clench my fists tighter, ignoring the pain.





Closer…but still not there yet.





I am through. I smile and let loose a sigh of relief. With the wood weakened, I let loose a flurry of firm, precise shots. Dirt, sand, and dust now begin pouring into my coffin. I keep punching, hacking away at the wood with my bloodied knuckles. In a frenzy of digging and punching, I crawl.

I climb.

I reach upwards, hoping to grab on to something.

Anything.





Almost there. Keep focused, you’re almost there. Come on, keep going.

A little longer, come on. Just a bit more...

Get to the surface.





With force and speed, dirt is catapulted through the air by the might of my fist. I /gasp for air and let my Breath meter recharge as I pull myself out from what would have been a terrible way to die.





I try to climb out, grasping whatever I can get my hands on to pull myself from the grave. The soil is loose and soft, but I keep going. I will not let Noodlepuss down. I will not let Mr. Wiggles down. I have come too far.

I get my bearings, and I make my way towards the nearest town. Clouds of dirt and dust trail off me like a short fuse on an even shorter bomb.





I think about Stitches, and how much I am going to make him pay. I think about Otto and Falconcrest, and even the big man himself — Frank. I clench my fists so tight that blood oozes from my hands. Then I think about Mr. Wiggles. I quickly decide what it is I had to do.

No more playing it soft.

No more playing it quiet.

It’s time to finish what I started.

The List.

It’s my turn now, and all the pieces are now in play. It’s my move…and I’m not waiting for anyone.





…Anyone.

“Excuse me, may I have a stack of [Conjured Water] please?”
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

[Reldaw]

I love how you crafted the fight. Nice work!

[Gnomish] “SILENCE!!! I despise Rogues, have nothing but utter contempt for green hair, and absolutely loathe your pathetic excuse for skill!!!”

That made me
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I'm a gnome. Hug me.

[Ogok]

/droool.... o dear god soo freaking AWSOME... you sir are a god
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[Yummylove]

[Fenrix]

Quick word on the latest release of Gank Frank...

I did a dual release because Chapter 4 is shorter than most other Chapters, and it ties in directly to Chapter 5. There's lots of scenery in both Chapters also, making for a bit of a jump around read. It fills in plot holes and you learn more about the past and the events leading up to this bloody tale of revenge...

Chapter 5 is probably my favorite Chapter so far. It has action, story, great interaction and the scenery is my personal favorite. Plus, getting to use Noodle as Pai Mei made it really cool to edit.

Anyways, I know there's only 2 Chapters left, and 3 people left on the Death List Five. You'll just hafta wait and see what happens, won'cha?


-Fen
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

[Fenrix]

Posted on the WoW General Forums...

http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=5103801497&sid=1

Prepare for imminent traffic!


-Fen
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

[Akumi]

Eeep! Tried to bump it, but it won't let me post since my account expired. It's already almost at the bottom of the page!
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Fruit Time - Get the much needed fruit to recover life and mana, makes you stronger in battle time!

[Ogok]

i just bumpd it back up...
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[Xarok]

Wow, awesome Fenrix!! There are no other words... just awesome!!

Reading it, I can actually hear Kill Bill soundtrack (even though I haven't seen the movies in 1-2 years now... but planning to watch them again... your fault!!)... the story flows very well, and all the "wow elements" are nicely put in... bravo!


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Hello World!

[Noodlepuss]

dear Exalted One:

you are the best!

I feel forever immortalized, lol

but Noodle's so angry in his old age!

hahah! great work
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<The Great One>

http://ctprofiles.net/205895

[Fenrix]

Yay for Noodleposts!

On a sadder note, they've moved my thread from General Discussion to Off-Topic Discussion. For whatever reason, I'm still unsure...So, I need your help. I spent a huge amount of time on these last 2 Chapters, more than Chapter 3, and I can't seem to think of any other efficient way to spread the word of its release.

I don't know what I can do...A guildie has reported my post in the Off-Topic section, and provided various links and explanations in hopes of them moving it back, but I'm doubtful. I'm hesitant to re-post it again in General Discussion over the fact that they'd probably suspend me. Any ideas?


-Fen
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

[Akumi]

Wikipedia?

I've got nothing.

Joe Torre is my third cousin...maybe I can like....make him advertise. :3

(Seriously though, security are such jerks! I know they have to be careful but we like never get to see him because they're so paranoid and never tell him when we ask to see him.)

Or...let's do crop circles!
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Fruit Time - Get the much needed fruit to recover life and mana, makes you stronger in battle time!

[Twobitz]

[Fenrix]

Hooray! My cries for help have been answered!!!

http://www.wowinsider.com/2008/03/05/gank-frank-parts-4-and-5-posted/

Server...chugging...but still...stable!


-Fen
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

[Mosferatu]