Gank Frank - Chapter 1

Fenrix · Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 9:35 pm Post subject: Gank Frank - Chapter 1

GANK FRANK
Written by Fenrix
Screenshots taken by Fenrix
Loosely based on Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill

Chapter 1: 11 (elite)
Chapter 2: Blood-Covered Gnome
Chapter 3: Showdown at the Pig and Whistle Tavern
Chapter 4: The Lonely Grave of Eliza Schultz
Chapter 5: The Tough Teachings of Noodlepuss
Chapter 6: Otto and I
Chapter 7: Final Showdown

"Never punt a gnome without due cause."

-Sayge's Fortune #17-

"Looked dead, didn't I? Well I wasn't...but it wasn't because my cooldowns weren't up yet,
I can tell you that. Actually, Frank's last Concussion Blow put me in a stunlock coma...
a stunlock I was to lie in for twelve seconds. And when I woke, I went on to what the
photostory advertisements refer to as a "raging rumble of retribution."

I raged.

I rumbled.

"And I got plenty of satisfaction (and subsequently, lots of copper pieces...)."

"I've killed a helluva lotta' mobs to get to this point, and I've only one left. The one I'm riding
to right now. The only one left alive. And when I arrive at my destination, I am gonna..."

"...gank..."

"...Frank."

Four weeks earlier...

Westbrook Garrison, Elwynn

"There was a stagnant heat amidst, which made you sweat the instant you walked outside. The smell of dog crap and the shrill of kids playing outside permeated through the air. Somewhere in the mix I'm pretty sure I even heard the Elwynn Icecream man, but I wasn't sure. I thought to myself, 'I could sure go for a Murloc Pop right about now.' The hint of mint and chocolate, and the bubblegum eyeballs! Oh, the eyeballs...The soft, creamy core...Damn, those sounded REAL good. I wonder if I had enough spare silver pieces on me--Wait, what? Oh. Right. Me. Killing. Killing someone now. I almost forgot."

"The mailbox informed me that I was at the correct location. The next target on my Death List Five."

"Diiinnng - donnng!"

"A voice came from around the tree. 'Comin', dear!!"

"/gasp!"

"He saw me. I saw him. Our eyes met."

*Dramatic music ensues*

"My eyes filled with anger and my mind flooded with images of a bloody, hateful past. He had killed me many times before, when I was a much lower level. His aggro radius was huge, picking up even the slightest scent of a Lowbie up to a mile away...However, my fist was about to aggro his face. I emptied my mind and focused at the task at hand -- sweet, sweet revenge."

"...And also, claiming his paw for the quest reward. Those were some serious phats..."
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

Fenrix · Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 9:36 pm Post subject:

"Hurrghh!"

"Hi-YA!!!"

I saw my opportunity. I went in for the killing blow.

*Insert Matrix-esque 'voosh' sound effect here*

"The deed was done. I quickly spotted a small Gnoll out of the corner of my eye, surveying the bloody battle that had ensued. My guess was it was one of Hogger's little Gnollings. I guess I should've felt sorry for him, or something. But I didn't. Someone had to tell him the truth."

"See, this is where I'm supposed to say something like, 'I didn't mean to kill him infront of you,' or something deep and sentimental, or some bullshit like that. But the truth of the matter is that, well - I'm glad you saw me kill him. Infact, it makes me happy! Because you know what,
I fucking hate Gnolls. Have you honestly heard the noise you guys make when you aggro someone? It's pretty fucking annoying. Yeah. That little barky-shriek thing you do? Stop."

"Weep in sorrow, Gnolls of Elwynn, for today your champion is slain..."

"Some would say that revenge is a dish best served cold. I myself, would say that I prefer mine served piping hot, with a hint of pwn on the side. Hot as in, piping hot from Ragnaros' rectum. Fifty-thousand friggin' degrees of pure satisfaction, kind of hot. But I digress..."

"As I walked away, images began to race through my head. Images of the flakking glits who killed me, and the nubs responsible. As I walked slowly back to my Cyber Wagon in deep contemplation, the wise words of an old friend surfaced and began to play through my mind."

"...For those regarded as true warriors..."

"...when engaged in combat, the ganking of thine enemy mob can by the Rogue's only concern."

"Supress all Gnomish compassion and urges to /dance and /boggle..."

"...only then will you find the truth at the heart of combat."

Stay tuned for Chapter 2.
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

Fenrix · Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 9:37 pm Post subject:

PLEASE don't go posting a link to this everyone, I'm hosting my pictures on Photobucket until I can get them fully up and working on Geffen's site.

Oh yeah, and - ENJOY!!!

EDIT: Pictures moved to Granite's Server. Link away!
EDITED EDIT: Pictures moved to Funkytown Image Server. Link with confidence!

-Fen
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

Naham · Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:08 pm Post subject:

omg...this is serious awesomeness!
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"I will heal you when I want to, and if that makes you nervous, drink a potion. Jerks!" - Drysc

Twobitz · Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:53 pm Post subject:

i lol'd
and again
and again
they i started crying from laughter

GG Fen
_________________
"Round earth theory corrupts the minds of our children and we need your help to stop it." -Internetz

Reldaw · Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:57 pm Post subject:

I read it.

I read it again.

Now I must sit and wait for more to be made.

MAKE MORE NOW!!!
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I'm a gnome. Hug me.

Mosferatu · Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:55 am Post subject:

CAN WE GET THIS MAN A STICKY?!?!?!
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Mosferatank - 70 Warrior
Borat - 70 Orc Hunter
Domlissa - 70 Human Priest
Mosferatu - 61 Troll Rogue
Various level 20-30 alts
01001100 01101111 01001100

Ramstall · Chimp Joined: 31 May 2006 Posts: 118

Death by gnome! (I think it's something like eating a deadly eclair)

Great job Fenrix.

Fenrix · Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:22 pm Post subject:

Thanks for all the responses!!!

I would like to hear some more feedback though, so all you people that read it or skimmed it please post your reactions, I want to get a feel of who liked it and who didn't.

-Fen
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

Addioson · Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:51 pm Post subject:

I CANT WAIT FOR MORE Exclamation

Awesome work made me lol Smile

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Addi(hunteroson)oson
One of the many Assclowns of FunkyTown Smile

Khold · Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:09 pm Post subject:

Bored weren't you?

XD
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Current Gnomelock level: 26

Baba · Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:22 pm Post subject:

It's the MOST AMAZING THING EVER!!!!
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Baba
--

Drunk as fuck!
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!

Naham · Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:24 pm Post subject:

I thought it was absolutely fantastic. The graphics are awesome. How exactly did you get all that done? Model Viewer? It's very slick.
_________________
"I will heal you when I want to, and if that makes you nervous, drink a potion. Jerks!" - Drysc

Fenrix · Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:50 pm Post subject:

Yeah, mixture of Photoshop and WoW Model Viewer + Lots of actual in-game shots, I think I am going to add some sound effect blurbs into the pictures though. Like Batman style, or something. Not sure yet...lots of room to experiment and see what I want to do!!! But the basic formula seems to be working quite well.

On a side note I will be needing LOTS of help with Chapter 2, namely lots of people creating Low Level Horde Alts that I can summon to a location that will be mentioned at a later time. Only prerequisities are that you must be able to down a Savory Deviate Delight and turn into a Ninja...Send me a PM if you are interested in being in Chapter 2!!!

And thank you for all the responses, keep them coming!

-Fen
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Gank Frank - A Raging Rumble of Retribution...

Twobitz · Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:22 am Post subject:

/pm
_________________
"Round earth theory corrupts the minds of our children and we need your help to stop it." -Internetz

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